Fauxcrastination

You've all heard the phrase "tilting at windmills". It refers to the tale of Don Quixote, a fictional knight that -- among other things -- confused ordinary windmills for ferocious giants. The resulting "battle" with such a creature is rather one-sided and of little consequence to the windmill. When we say someone is tilting at windmills, we mean to say that they are wasting their time on a pointless battle that can't be won.

In reality, most of us wouldn't go charging into battle against a ferocious giant armed with nothing but a sword and trusty steed. Most of us would seek to avoid drawing the beast's attention. That's a much safer path than drawing the ire of the beast. Nor would we fight against a windmill. What would be the point, right? Slam on the shingles all day with your sharp iron stick, and that sucker isn't going to budge.

But what if that perception isn't reality? What if the windmill you see isn't real? What if that seemingly insurmountable challenge is a trick of your imagination?

This happens in business all the time. It's happening in my business today more than I care to think. Hence this blog post. I need a term to describe these people who see obstacles where none are. For those who assume that the effort to fix what is obviously broken is greater than the reward... when a much simpler solution exists.

Enter my friend Encaffeinated ONE. He proffered this gem:

fauxcrastination: \ˈfō-ˈkras-tə-ˈnā-shən\ noun
: putting up false roadblocks
: imagining challenges where none exist^*

I love it. Now where did I put that sword... and my horse!

^{* - Late addition courtesy of Matt Selznick}

My future can beat up your present

In the great rush to take advantage of all the new possibilities the web offers, we often fail to reach beyond the familiar. Our "strategic thinking" looks more replicative than revolutionary. Consider how many of these failed technologies you've seen:

• A "virtual counter person" greeting visitors of a retail site.
  Web visitors do not want the same experience as they have in store. At least, not in that way. That helpful avatar either isn't or is dipping into the uncanny valley. And it's not that "the technology just isn't there yet". It's that people don't want to interact with your site that way.
  
  
• Online magazine forces you to "turn pages" just like an offline magazine.
  Do you know why we turn pages of physical magazines? Because we have to. Not because we want to. You'd be better off putting a screen and a keyboard on a magazine. Oh wait.
  
  
• Business card-shaped CDs.
  Granted, it's been almost a decade since I've seen these. Maybe they're all dead now. The concept was silly, but they sold like hotcakes. Now if we can just kill off physical business cards all together.

The best inventions are transformative. They make use of new technological advances to advance something, often times convenience. There's that pesky arrow again.

There are good reasons why:

• printers aren't powered by armies of miniaturized scribes hyped-up on coffee,
  
• planes don't flap their wings,
  
• submarines don't swim like whales, and
  
• robots WON'T (trust me on this) walk like humans in the future.

But sometimes silly is good. The current implementation of virtual worlds are pretty terrible. They'll stay terrible as long as avatars are controlled by mouse and keyboard strokes. But some good stuff can -- and does -- come out. But for now, silly.

Augmented reality is also rather whimsical. Putting virtual furniture around your living room is a lark. It's also a far cry from how your room will really look when pixels are replaced by upholstery. But the exploration of the technology will certainly lead to some breakthroughs. It's just got to get out of my webcam and into my life.

But I'm not giving up on these new ideas. You shouldn't either. Nor should you be afraid to play with emerging technologies. But be skeptical of those gizmos that promise to make the digital space "just like the real world". To steal a line from a squirrel, that trick never works.

It's OK to make money with social media

If your company gets involved in social media this year, will you make money from it? If not... don't bother.

Yes, I realize that your customers want you to get involved with social media. Many of them would also like you to give away free beer, but you probably don't do that.

Yes, it's true that your customers are having conversations about you that you aren't aware of. But do you think that didn't happen before social media? Please.

Yes, your competition may have hundreds of people engaging with them in the social sphere. But are they doing anything truly remarkable, or are they just chatting? More importantly, are those people buying more stuff because of those conversations?

You won't succeed at social media on accident. And success probably isn't measured by mentions and followers. Success for your business is measured in dollars, not sentiment. In sales, not conversations.

Social media playtime is over. Business just getting involved today don't have the luxury of figuring it out as you go along. It's time to stand on the shoulders of those who've come before. Time to learn from the mistakes of others. And to extend on the wins many have made.

Three questions to think of:

1. Is your social media crew up to the challenge? The right crew will have a blend of business acumen and real-world social media skills. Balance is important.
   
2. Does your agency talk in the language of your business? The only metrics that matter are the ones you care about.
   
3. Are you demanding return and payoff from your digital marketing efforts? If it costs money, it should return more money. Period.
   
   

Your answer to all of those should be an emphatic yes. If not, put those responsible on notice.

Using word clouds as reader and author

I'm a rather verbose person by nature. As a kid, I never worried much about having a 500 word report prepared by the end of the week. I usually had it done by the end of the period.

When I wrote Podcasting For Dummies, I had to learn to curtail much of that. That's a very different writing style. But I've adopted it. And I think it makes my writing more effective. I also give props to Patrick McLean for being an inspiration. Seriously, if you want to know how to write clearly, concisely and effectively, you couldn't ask for a better writing coach than Patrick.

Which brings me to the discussion of the 4322 four thousand, three hundred twenty-two (4,322) word blog post by Jonathan Rosenberg, Senior Vice President of Product Management for Google. The title was The meaning of open, a topic of some import with me. So I read it. All of it. Whew. Now I'm tired. I'm glad I read it. But chances are, you won't take the time. It's simply too long. He's approaching the halfway mark of a novella.

Luckily, the advent of the web -- speaking of open -- has provided a visualization tool that helps. Wordle is a free service that lets you paste in text and create an on-the-fly word cloud. The more a word is used, the larger it appears in the loud. There are other factors involved as well. Here's the word cloud of Mr. Rosenberg's blog post:

[caption id="attachment_51" width="500" caption="Word cloud for really long Google blog post"][/caption]

While it's a poor substitute for actually reading the work, it can provide valuable insight. Insight that helps you decide if you should read the whole thing or not. Conversely, this could be a helpful self-check measure. Create your own word cloud out of something you are writing. Does the cloud match your intent? It should. If it doesn't, you didn't use the right words.